Don't Give Up On Me
by Shitsuren69
Summary: Gatlex. "Our timeline. It's going in opposite directions. What I know and what you know are inversely related to each other. The more I get to know you, the less you'll know about me, and vice-versa." Two-shot.
1. Rex

Posted here for a friend.

Do you know the story of the Doctor and River Song in _Doctor Who_? If so, then this is pretty much that. If not, then let's just say that it's the most romantic thing I've heard while still breaking hearts.

* * *

The first time Rex meets Gatlocke, he becomes acutely aware of just how different Gatlocke is from any other person he's met.

Well, that is to say, it's not quite that Rex has met a lot of people. But as a Providence Agent, he's met plenty of scums. And as far as Rex is concerned, Gatlocke ranks pretty high as a scum. It's just that…

Most scums try to kill him, not kiss him.

And despite the fact that this is the very first time that they've met, Gatlocke just reaches over, grabs Rex's head with his cybernetic arms, and places a kiss on his forehead. If it stopped there, Rex could've just chalked it up to some kind of a strange merchant greet (to which the rest of the merchants denies vehemently when Rex asks). But Gatlocke doesn't stop.

He places two kisses on both of Rex's eyelids. He kisses Rex's nose. And it is only when he goes for Rex's mouth that Six finally steps in and stops the merchant by pressing his blade against Gatlocke's throat. Then Gatlocke backs off, holding up his hands as if to say "Who me?" and grins and grins and grins.

Throughout the entire debriefing, Gatlocke's eyes never stray too far from Rex, almost as if he's trying to memorize every detail. He chuckles whenever he spots Rex doing anything (and believe him when he says that he's never been so self-conscious his entire life). Sometimes, Gatlocke just grabs Rex for no apparent reason other than the fact that he can. Touch his arm, hug him tight, grab his ass. It is infuriating as hell because Rex can never predict it to stop it.

But then the meeting's over and Rex slowly finds himself relaxing because this is it. After the debrief, he never has to deal with Gatlocke ever again. He's going to be free from this creepy attention

And then Gatlocke kisses him.

It's not one of those chaste "I love you, Grandma," type of kisses. It's a full-on, passionate make out, and Rex is just so damned confused. This is the first time they've met and _what the hell is this guy doing with his tongue_?! Gatlocke ravishes him, ignoring the way Rex is smacking at his chest to try and get some air. He just grabs so tightly that it hurts and he kisses and pushes and takes.

Six rips them apart, pushing Gatlocke back as he makes sure that Rex is okay. They're both breathless and Rex just _doesn't get it_ because Gatlocke looks like he wants to cry. Like he doesn't ever want to leave. He shoves Six aside and grabs Rex by the shoulders. And instead of trying anything, he just looks Rex straight in the eyes and says, "I love you. Don't give up on me."

It doesn't sound romantic at all. It sounds more final. Almost like Gatlocke's saying good bye forever. Almost like he's going to break apart. Then he's dragged away by Six, leaving Rex so confused in the middle of the hall.

* * *

The second time Rex meets him, he blushes red and Gatlocke just greets him brightly as if the crazy kiss-confession never happened.

There isn't the desperate groping or kissing as their first meeting, but Gatlocke sticks close. His fingers brush against Rex from time to time and Gatlocke smirks at him every time Rex turns to glare. Almost as if he's being intoxicated with each touch. And just when Rex is ready to snap, Gatlocke just leans in close and rubs his nose against Rex's.

And with a loud cackle, he demands, "No matter what happens, don't give up on me."

It makes no sense at all and Rex just pushes away, feeling kind of peeved. "What the hell does that even mean?"

"It means that I'm going to kiss you."

Six has to pull them apart again. And Rex is starting to get really sick and tired of this guy.

* * *

The third time isn't as bad.

Or so Rex tells himself.

Because unlike the first two times when they met because of Providence-related issues, this time, Rex walks into his room and finds Gatlocke lying on his bed. Not naked or anything, mind you. But just… lying there. With an insufferable smirk on his face and his boots all muddy from whatever hole he crawled out of.

"… What the hell?" There really aren't any other words to describe this situation before him. "Why are you here?"

"I thought you could use a break. Also, just saying, I have permission to be here for forever," Gatlocke declares with an extravagant hand gesture. Then he holds up two tickets. "So let's go hang out together. You're going to love this movie."

"No. I don't want anything to do with you."

"Give me a chance. I'll grow on you."

"I don't want you to grow on me."

Then Gatlocke's moving, shoving Rex against the wall, all pretense of friendliness gone. There's no emotion in his eyes, no anger, no murder, and definitely not anything else. Just a vast emptiness that's boring down on Rex with intensity. And for the first time, Rex feels a shiver of fear around this man.

"You can't," Gatlocke says finally. He places his arms on both side of Rex, trapping him. "You can't ever think like that. You have to keep coming to me. You can't ever give up on me. Do you understand?"

"No. I don't. What the hell do you want from me?"

Rex thinks that it's a good question. Because this guy literally came out of nowhere and demanded that he be let into Rex's life. And that just makes no sense. Why would anyone do that? Rex is just… Rex. It's not even like he's all that important in the grand scheme of things. He's just a foot soldier. An agent of Providence, if even that. So what is it that Gatlocke the merchant, Gatlocke the thief, Gatlocke the self-proclaimed pirate wants from him?

Gatlocke presses his forehead against Rex's and the teen thinks that this is the gentlest that he's ever seen the guy. It's hell lot scarier than the blank stare he's got earlier. "I need you."

Then the tender moment's passed, and Rex finds himself whisked away by Gatlocke to go watch that damned movie.

* * *

The fourth time they meet, Rex throws his arms up in the air and gives up. Six raises his brow at him, but what the hell. Rex doesn't care anymore. He walks up to Gatlocke and declares, "I like that movie."

Gatlocke perks up, looking most definitely intrigued. "Oh?" he asks. "Which one?"

"You know… From last night."

Six is doing his version of flipping out in the background but both of them ignore him. Gatlocke is looking at Rex with an easy smile on his face and Rex just wants to punch that god-awful smile.

"You know," Rex says, waving his hands in the air. "The new one that came out."

"What do you like about it?"

There. This one, he can answer. Rex's lips curve into a minuscule smile and he talks and talks and talks, amusing Gatlocke and himself with just how easy this is, how they just fit together. He pauses a little from time to time, waiting for Gatlocke to input his own thoughts and feelings into their discussion, but instead, Gatlocke just looks at him as if he's looking at a priceless treasure and smirks.

At the end of it all, Gatlocke tilts his head to the side and says, "I'd like to watch it with you."

Rex is about to correct him and remind him that they did see it together. Last night, in fact. But before he can, White Knight walks into the room and forces everyone to return to their duties.

* * *

From then on, Rex loses count. From then on, Rex just doesn't bother to run away or hide. He just stands up and faces Gatlocke on his own level of crazy. They bicker and argue, they clash horribly, and they definitely can't seem to agree on anything. But then there are moments. Small ones from time to time that makes Rex pause and wonder. That makes Rex rethink about their relationship regarding one another. It makes him look forward to the next day, wondering if he's going to be running into Gatlocke again.

And then there are moments that make him incredibly worried.

Because it becomes clear to Rex as time goes by that something's wrong. That something's not quite right. And at first, he thought that maybe he was mistaken, but then it kept happening again and again and again until finally, it dawns on him exactly what is going on.

"We're going the wrong way, aren't we?"

Gatlocke glances around them and then looks down at his map. "No. I'm pretty sure we're going the right way."

"No, I mean… Our timeline. It's going in opposite directions. What I know and what you know are inversely related to each other. The more I get to know you, the less you'll know about me, and vice-versa."

There's a small pause before Gatlocke puts down the map and looks at Rex straight in the eye. "Yes," he says. "That is our tragedy."

He wants so much to demand to know then why did Gatlocke tell him not to give up on him? Over and over again in that insisting tone of desperation. What does it all mean? Except now that he knows what he does, he figures that there's no point in asking. Because this Gatlocke wouldn't know.

"Hey Gatlocke?"

"Yes?"

"Why?"

The merchant raises a brow. "Why am I hot? Well you see-"

"No, you ass! I mean why decide to keep talking to me when you know how our story ends? No matter what you get from me, the next time you see me again, it won't matter. No matter what we do, it won't stick! It would be better to just stay away from one another. Just start fresh with someone else."

"So after everything that you've done, you're just going to walk away from me?"

Rex freezes. Everything that he's done up to now hasn't happened to Gatlocke yet. That means whatever Gatlocke's talking about, he's talking about something that Rex will do. But see, if Rex hasn't done them yet, he can change it… right?

"Yes. Because if I do, then you and I won't have to suffer."

"I don't care about the suffering!" Gatlocke exclaims. "As long as you're mine, I don't care who gets destroyed or hurt! That's why… Rex, don't give up on me. Don't you fucking dare."

And oh. That's what it was. Rex feels like crying or laughing, he's not sure which one. The reason why Gatlocke had been (or will be?) so adamant that Rex not give up on him is all because of this moment right here. But it still doesn't make any sense at all. Isn't it better to save themselves the heartache? Isn't it better to walk away?

Just what happened to Gatlocke… just what will Rex do that causes this man to be so dedicated?

And suddenly, Rex doesn't want tomorrow to come anymore.

* * *

Rex walks into his room and finds Gatlocke there again. And this might not be creepy if it's not for the fact that Gatlocke has one of Rex's motorcycle underwear in his hands.

"Do you just get bored and come into my room?"

"There's a better porn collection here."

"… I don't have any-"

"Anything that smells like you is porn for me."

"WHAT?!"

Gatlocke laughs, putting down the underwear. "C'mon, we're going to get dinner together!"

"Wait, Gatlocke! Explain yourself first! Gatlocke!"

* * *

"… You know my order?" Rex asks as the two of them stand next to the burger stand, waiting for their food.

"'Course I do," Gatlocke answers as if he's scandalized that Rex would ever think otherwise. "I know everything about you. Things you like, things you dislike, things you like to eat, and…" He lowers his voice and whispers in Rex's ear, "Exactly how you like it in bed."

Rex feels his face flush red. "Wait a minute! Don't tell me we-"

"Oh, here's our order! Believe me, you love this stuff."

* * *

For the most part, their missions don't cross. Rex thinks that it's purposeful on Six's part (or maybe Holiday, but he can't ever be sure just how much influence she has on the top brass's decisions). But for the most part, he's grateful.

How can he not be?

It's one of the rare alone times that he has (now that Gatlocke has taken up the rest of his life). So it's supposed to be a quiet time for him. It's supposed to be easier without Gatlocke. Less painful or happy or any kind of emotions because it's supposed to be his time for Zen.

That's why when he stumbles back to base, barely coherent, and falls into Gatlocke's arms and the man gives him that look of _knowing_, Rex punches him.

"You _knew_," he seethes, shoving Gatlocke against the wall. "You fucking knew!"

"Of course I knew, it's already happened to me, remember?" Gatlocke's voice is gentle, despite the angry accusation in Rex's voice. And Rex hates this. He hates all of this. "Let me help you take the pain away." And Gatlocke leans in to kiss him, that jerk.

Rex shakes his head and takes two steps back. "I don't want anything to do with you."

"Don't do this to me."

Gatlocke looks suddenly so small and fragile. And this is so not fair because if anything, it should be Rex who's falling apart. It should be Rex who doesn't have to deal with this shit.

"Rex, I can't without you."

"Can't what?"

Gatlocke hesitates. Not because he doesn't want to say anything, but because he's trying to find the right words to say. It's hilarious to think about because since when does Gatlocke ever has to stop and think about what to say? Just what are they to each other that Gatlocke would go this far?

"Breathe," Gatlocke decides finally. "I can't breathe when you're not here with me."

"Don't worry; it won't kill you. We know each other for quite a long time more."

"You know the one good thing about this?" Gatlocke doesn't let Rex answer. "It's that when I see you next, you won't be mad. This wouldn't have happened to you yet."

"How is that supposed to be a good thing? Gatlocke, you can't build anything on an unstable foundation! Don't you understand? That's exactly why we can't be together. We can never have _anything_ together. Anything you know about me, won't be true by next time we meet, and everything I've done with you wouldn't have happened to you yet next time we meet."

"But the feeling is real."

Rex gives Gatlocke a bitter look. "And I'm pretty damned sure that I'm angry."

"I love you."

"I hate you."

Then their lips crash together, desperately seeking comfort in the other in ways that they've never done before. Except no, that's not quite true. It's just that Rex has never done it before. But for Gatlocke, this might be the tenth, fiftieth, or whatever amount of times he's done it with the future Rex. But for Rex this is the first time.

And now that he thinks about it, it means that this is Gatlocke's last time.

"Let me help you forget," Gatlocke whispers. "Don't think, Rex. Just trust me."

And Rex does. And he's pretty damned sure that they do this quite a lot, because Gatlocke knows exactly just what to do to make him scream and let out the pent up frustration.

* * *

"Is it worth it?" Six asks, his voice uncertain.

"I don't know," Rex admits. "But I don't mind it."

Six looks down at the ground for a second before looking back up. "Rex… One day, you're going to know more about him than he knows about you. One day, he won't know who you are anymore."

Rex nods. "But until then, I have to make the best of it. Otherwise, I'll go insane."

The older agent looks like he wants to say something else, but he doesn't push on. He just lets Rex walk off to find Gatlocke again.

* * *

There are times when Rex thinks that maybe they're going overboard.

Because Providence just issued a new creed about non-fraternization in the public areas, and everyone already knows that it's talking about Gatlocke and Rex, because they're the only two who keep getting caught. Granted, if Gatlocke hadn't decided that fooling around in the command center where the PA system is was a good idea, none of this might have happened to begin with.

"Bathrooms don't count," Gatlocke says as he trails butterfly kisses down Rex's back. "It's not a public area."

"That's what you said about the halls," Rex reminds him. "And the labs. And the gym. And-"

"Your tongue is not being productive right now."

"Neither is yours."

"Time to change that."

* * *

"What do you want to eat?"

Rex does a double-take at the question. "Wow, you're actually asking me what I want to eat for once instead of ordering for me? That's new."

"Maybe you want to try something new. I mean, we always eat the same stuff," Gatlocke says with a shrug.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say."

* * *

They kiss slowly, taking their time unlike their usual method of doing things. Rex thinks it's kind of annoying, but he decides to just enjoy the change. It's kind of nice, taking things slow. Gatlocke showers him with kisses, exploring every inch of Rex's body with his mouth.

"Gat," Rex whispers, "Can't you…? Can we…? I mean…"

"I want to go slow," Gatlocke answers in between kisses. "I want to find out exactly what your body likes."

Rex chuckles a little. "You already know what I like."

Gatlocke freezes for a split second before chuckling. "That's because you like whatever I do," he says smoothly, covering over whatever emotion just flashed on his face.

And Rex is about to call him out on it when Gatlocke bites down hard. "You want to go fast? I can do that, too."

* * *

It's not until Holiday pulls him to the side and says, "Rex, we need to talk about you and Gatlocke," that it finally hits Rex.

They passed their halfway point.

And as Holiday lectures him about the necessary for safe sex and other things about protecting hearts, all Rex can compute is the sinking feeling of "Oh gods, this is going to be over soon. I'm going to lose him."

He should've realized it sooner. He should've remembered Six's warning before any of this happened. He should have remembered that Gatlocke wouldn't be the one who always remember more. That Gatlocke wouldn't always be the one who pushes. One day, things are going to change and it's going to be him chasing after Gatlocke, and letting the merchant know that things are going to be fine. Damn it, he should've seen it when Gatlocke became clumsy during sex. Because Gatlocke always knows what to do because Gatlocke has done it a thousand times. Because Gatlocke knows just how to make Rex gasp and moan. The minute Gatlocke slowed down and tried to figure things out, Rex should've realized that they've hit that point (or passed it). And now that he's stopped to think about it, when was the last time Gatlocke ever asked him what he wanted to order?

He knows more about Gatlocke now than Gatlocke does about him. They've passed the middle point and now they're speeding towards the end. Or at least, for Rex it'll be the end. But for Gatlocke, it'll be the beginning.

"Rex? Are you listening?"

"I'm sorry, Doctor Holiday. I need to go see him right now."

And he stumbles through the halls until he finds Gatlocke. The merchant gives him a confused stare, but he doesn't refuse Rex's advances. Because right now, all Rex needs is for Gatlocke to be there, damned who's watching or not.

* * *

Gatlocke punches him.

He doesn't hold anything back, which lets Rex know exactly how pissed off he must be. Then Gatlocke takes two steps back, lips drawn back into a sneer as he rants. Rex has long learned to block out things that Gatlocke says that doesn't involve him.

"… And what the hell were you thinking?"

"Saved your life, didn't I?"

Gatlocke's lips thin. "You didn't have to do that. You _know_ I can take care of myself!"

And it's true. Rex knows that Gatlocke can take care of himself. He's seen Gatlocke in action (he supposes what Gatlocke will do is a better way to put it). "I know," he agrees. "But I wanted to."

"You don't always have to take care of me!"

"Gat?"

"What?"

"Kiss me."

Gatlocke looks perplexed but he doesn't refuse. And now that Rex thinks about it, Gatlocke never refuses.

* * *

Rex often wonders about just what happened to Gatlocke (what Rex will do) that makes the merchant so dedicated to be around him. He's thought it before in passing, but he's never actually sat down to think about it. He's asked Gatlocke about it, but Gatlocke always pauses for a second as if remembering something horrifying before quickly changing the topic.

Whatever it is, it happened pretty early for Gatlocke, which means that any day now, Rex is going to walk in and find out that Gatlocke no longer cares about him, no longer knows who he is.

Today is not that day.

Gatlocke hesitates in front of Rex's room, looking so suddenly _young_. And Rex realizes yet again that he's known Gatlocke for far longer now. It's no longer Gatlocke who's going to be pushing. It has to be him. Gatlocke's going to close up, just as Rex probably did to him (will do to him. For Gatlocke, it hasn't happened yet).

"My room's inside, Gat," Rex says, gently placing a hand on Gatlocke's shoulder. "What's wrong? Nervous?"

"Only because I won't be able to hold myself back," Gatlocke answers with his usual confident grin. Then there's a pause and the smallest of whisper of, "Are you sure you want me in there?"

"Gatlocke," Rex presses a kiss against Gatlocke's nose. "Whenever you want to, come to my room. I'm giving you permission."

"Forever?"

"Forever."

* * *

"What's wrong? Having a hard time picking what you want?" Rex asks as he comes to stand by Gatlocke at their usual burger place. Well, it's usual for Rex but who knows for Gatlocke?

"They all sound delicious," Gatlocke says, screwing his face as he thinks about his choices carefully. His first time here, then. "If I pick the wrong one, you're going to judge me for the rest of my life. So I have to make sure that this counts."

"Don't be silly." Rex turns to the burger stand worker and orders their usual. Because it's not Gatlocke who knows their order now. It's just him. "You're going to love this."

* * *

The day he realizes that this is Gatlocke's first time with him, Rex fears that they're nearing the end.

Gatlocke's hands are uncertain, ghosting hesitantly in an uncharacteristic manner that doesn't suit him at all. Rex has to stop him and look him straight in the eye.

"What's bothering you?"

"You've done this with me before," Gatlocke mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck. "Except not me. The future me. The one who knew your body intimately."

"Gat, are you comparing yourself to your future self?"

Gatlocke ducks his head, hiding the blush as he clenches his fists. "I'm probably not as good as him and-"

"Stupid." Rex pulls Gatlocke towards himself and kisses him fully on the mouth. "You're you. You'll learn as we go. And believe me when I say that you're a fast learner."

"But I'm-"

"You're the one I want to be with always, Gat. So shut up and trust me."

* * *

Rex coughs, grimacing as blood splatters dribbles from his mouth to his clothes. This is not looking good. He's tied up in who knows where location in front of Van Kleiss, who's sneering down at him.

"If you don't cooperate, Rex, I can very easily kill you," the man declares. He speaks in a calming manner, soothing, almost. The voice of a politician who's promising anything for a vote.

"No you won't." Rex grins. "You're not going to kill me."

"Because you're going to cooperate with me?" Van Kleiss sounds confused yet hopeful.

"No, because I don't die here. Gatlocke still knew who I was last time we met. It's not our last encounter yet."

"What are you-"

The doors break open and Six is there with the rest of the Providence Agents. Van Kleiss no longer has time to focus on Rex, which is just fine. This is just fine. Rex laughs as Gatlocke rushes over to him, an unfamiliar red in the midst of the black and white of Providence uniforms.

"You idiot," Gatlocke's muttering darkly under his breath as he unties Rex. "You stupid idiot!"

"Hey Gat, kiss me?"

There's an unreadable look in Gatlocke's eyes and Rex knows that this must be the first time that they kiss (first time for Gatlocke. Last time for Rex). It's clumsy and tastes of iron, but Rex knows that he's going to treasure that feeling for the rest of his life.

* * *

"Hey Gatlocke! Let's go see this movie!"

Gatlocke looks uncomfortable around Rex. Like he wants to back away forever and never return. He looks awkward, and it's obvious that he doesn't want to be here, and Rex knows that this is it.

They're getting closer to the end.

He knows that they're nearing it because he knows that emotion on Gatlocke's face. It's the same one he wore when Gatlocke first appeared in his life. And once upon a time, he thought that he should change the ending of this story. That he should back away so that Gatlocke would never have to go through the heartache (and that he himself would never have to suffer through watching the one he loves slowly cut himself off from him). But then he remembers Gatlocke's desperate eyes. He remembers Gatlocke's final words.

_"I love you. Don't give up on me."_

Rex doesn't plan to. So he pushes after Gatlocke, hands brushing, eyes trailing, always chasing. He's not going to stop now.

* * *

The mission is a simple enough one. Evacuate the city. Rex and Six are ready to leave and give the orders for the firebombing when he spots it. The familiar black cape and flash of red.

"Six." He doesn't need to say anything more, because the older agent has seen it too.

"No. We're supposed to be evacuating."

"It's Gatlocke."

"Rex…"

"Give me five minutes. If I'm not out by then, light the place up." And he doesn't wait for Six's response before he runs forward, chasing after Gatlocke's shadow.

* * *

Rex finds him in an alleyway, standing defensively and untrustingly. So different from that Gatlocke that he used to know. And this is how he knows that this is the end. He's finally arrived. The last time he's going to see Gatlocke (and the first time Gatlocke meets him).

You know, he never did get the answer to the question of why Gatlocke was so dedicated to him. Maybe he's about to find out.

"My name is Rex Salazar," he says, holding up both hands to signify that he doesn't have a weapon. "I work for Providence. We need to evacuate this area. Will you please come with me?"

Gatlocke tilts his head for a second before talking two tentative steps forward. "Where exactly will you be taking me?"

"To a safe and secure location." It's stiff and cruel and completely unlike their usual encounters. Rex can't help but to flinch at it. This is Gatlocke's first time meeting him. He can't be like this. He needs to be something… Someone that Gatlocke will forever hold on to. Will forever love. Because right now, that might be distrust in Gatlocke's eyes, but soon enough it's going to be nothing but adoration and love (just like it used to be, just like it will be).

"Gatlocke," he says, causing the other man to tense, "It's going to be okay. I'm here to help you." Still keeping his hands up in the air, he slowly begins to walk forward. His eyes are locked onto Gatlocke's and he makes sure to telegraph his every move so that Gatlocke isn't spooked.

"Why do you know my name?"

"Believe me when I say that you and I get to know each other very well."

"I don't want to know you."

How familiar. Rex smiles. _Did you feel the stab of pain too, Gatlocke, when I said that to you?_ "Gat, don't tell me you're giving up on me already?"

"Can't give up what I never had."

Rex stops walking forward when he's within arm's reach of Gatlocke. "You know-"

He never gets to finish what he wanted to say. Because that's a dagger in Gatlocke's hands and that's blood that's spilling out of his stomach, and is that betrayal that he's seeing in his own reflection in Gatlocke's eyes?

"Van Kleiss sends his regards," Gatlocke spits.

But no. It can't end like this (It can't begin like this).

Rex grabs Gatlocke's head, causing the young merchant to stab him again. But there's no time to focus on the pain. He needs to get his point across. He needs for Gatlocke to know.

He presses a kiss on Gatlocke's forehead. He feels the tension and the confusion and additional stabs, but he continues on. Two kisses on each of the eyelids. One on the nose. And…

"I… love…"

Rex never finishes his sentence. He never gets to kiss Gatlocke a final goodbye either. His mouth is filled with blood and the world is swimming in front of him. Not fair, he thinks. So not fair. And Rex Salazar closes his eyes and collapses against Gatlocke's chest, feeling arms wrap around him in the ways that they used to. He smiles. Because in a way, isn't this also perfect?

This is the end of the story of how Rex Salazar met and lost Gatlocke.

But it's the beginning for Gatlocke.


	2. Gatlocke

Gatlocke's insane.

Ask anyone. They'll all volunteer that information without hesitation. That's just how it is. Just like the sky is mostly blue for most of the day, Providence is sketchy as hell, and Gatlocke's insane.

But oddly enough, no one ever asks why.

No one asks "But why is the sky blue?" or "But why is Providence sketchy?" or "But why is Gatlocke insane?" Personally, Gatlocke thinks it's because the why is irrelevant. As long as the sky stays blue and Providence stays sketchy and Gatlocke stays insane, no one's going to question anything.

No one's going to look at him and say, "Hey, how come your timeline is going the opposite direction compared to everyone else?" Well, then again, it's not really like he has an answer for that. His favorite theory, though, is that when the world was created, the bigwigs decided that they needed someone to suffer. And by a random lot, Gatlocke was the lucky winner who was chosen.

When he was younger, it was hard. He couldn't understand why people kept talking of things that never happened or why they became confused when he talked of things that had happened. Few even wondered if he was psychic, but that never lasted. It was always, "Oh, that's just Gatlocke. He's insane."

It made it nearly impossible to become attached to anyone. And eventually, he got used to that. He's not someone that people tried to connect with, so he never connected with them. Why bother? They're not going to remember him nor is he going to remember them the next day. In the world of fishes that are swept by the current called time, he is the one fish who swims against it. And he's okay with that.

He's always okay with being alone.

* * *

Gatlocke likes being a merchant.

He's tried some of the other jobs out there, but none of them quite suits his tastes like being a merchant. He's not sure if it's because he likes spraying the world with the color red or if it's because he just likes the look on people's faces when he does things for money. But whatever the reason, it's his chosen profession. And just in case you misunderstand, let's make it very clear:

He does not do this for the money.

How can he? He gets paid before he does anything (usually, this is when he's given information of exactly what he has to do). And by the time he's finished with the job, the money's never been given to him and he's sitting in front of the client, who's trying to talk him into giving them a "better" deal. It probably sounds confusing, but believe Gatlocke when he says that he knows how this is done.

"As I thought," the man says, lips stretching into an endless smirk, "only you could do this job correctly."

A quick glance lets Gatlocke know that this man's talking to him. Ah, a satisfied customer then. Good, good. Gatlocke loves seeing them. They're so rare. He holds out his hands in front of him and grins, "Naturally. No one can get the job done quite like me. That's why I'm the best."

"That's not what I heard," the man says with a shrug.

"Then why did you hire me?"

"Because you're the only one who could've killed him."

It's a strange declaration but Gatlocke figures it means that his customer is acknowledging his superior skills. He gets his money as always but the man doesn't leave right away. Instead, he lingers a little, looking at Gatlocke with wonder.

"Does it really not bother you?"

"What?"

"That you killed him."

Gatlocke shrugs. "Why should it?"

The man laughs, shaking his head. "You are a cold man, Gatlocke. Oh, and I've included an extra bonus for a job well done."

"Great doing business with you."

"Likewise."

* * *

Gatlocke doesn't bother with names. Why should he? No one ever stays long enough for him to care. So in his head, it's always simple: the target, the seller, the buyer, the goons, the Providence goons, and so on and so forth. This way, he doesn't have to even pretend to care about anything.

If someone feels like paying, they track him down. He's pretty sure he hasn't been paid for most of the jobs (but that's okay, because he's also damn sure that he hasn't done half of the other jobs). The only time he's been paid in full (or so he assumes that it's full because he's gotten multiple pays from them) is when he works with Providence (or will work with Providence. He hasn't really worked with them yet but according to his bank account, he has been for quite a while).

So when he spots his target in the middle of Providence goons, he knows that this might become one of those "betrayal" special from those crappy late night TV shows (You know, the one where the bad guy gets a memory loss and works together with the hero for a bit before the memory loss goes away and the bad guy becomes the bad guy again. Or something like that. Gatlocke actually doesn't know if that's what happened. He never watches that show in order for obvious reasons). Oh well, at least he got paid well for this job (or will get paid).

The target takes the bait pretty quickly. And before he knows it, they're facing each other in an alleyway.

And here's the odd part.

See, in all of Gatlocke's life as a backward-time-walker-person-thingie (hey, it's a working name), not many people know about his… condition. Or even if they do, they don't quite understand what it means. That's why this meeting is so odd. That's why this meeting stands out.

The target smiles warmly at him. A knowing smile. They know each other then. But instead of doing the usual, "Gatlocke, c'mon, let's get out of here. We're getting a drink together," that a normal colleague would've said, he holds up his hands in the air to prove that he has no weapons and says gently, "My name is Rex Salazar."

Why is he introducing himself to Gatlocke? It makes no sense. Logically, the target should've skipped the introduction and went straight to their usual meet and greet. Why is the target acting as if this is the first time he's ever met Gatlocke?

"Will you please come with me?"

Gatlocke tilts his head for a second before tentatively taking two steps forward. All he has on him is a dagger on his hands, so he has to get close, but there's something that's making him hesitate. It's confusing and he just doesn't get it. Why is he hesitating? Just because this person is treating him as if this is the first time they're meeting? He's not that naïve.

He's done assassination jobs before (and plan on doing much more). He's covered his hands completely with the blood with his targets and sellers alike, sometimes just because he was bored. He's never hesitated before. Maybe, once upon a time, when he first killed someone, but he doesn't even remember that. It's been far too long and he should be better than this.

"Gatlocke."

He freezes for a second before forcing himself to relax as the target whispers sweet nothings. Here it is. The beginning of the crack of the introduction. The target knows him, and he's now going to use that this advantage.

"Why do you know my name?"

"Believe me when I say that you and I get to know each other very well."

Liar, liar. There's no way that Gatlocke's going to throw away a lifetime of wisdom for what? A few months of talking to this guy? No way. He's been there before, way long ago before he even got into the merchant business, and he's not about to repeat that stupidity. So this guy is probably just one of many Providence goons that thinks that he can take advantage because Gatlocke doesn't know who he is.

"I don't want to know you."

"Gat," the target says with a charming smile, "don't tell me you're giving up on me already?"

"Can't give up what I never had."

And there. The target is in position. Gatlocke plunges the dagger in without hesitation. He doesn't even know what he's said at this point. All he knows is that the target is going down and this is just another job well done. But instead of dying quietly or with that betrayed look that Gatlocke predicted, the target does something uncanny.

He grabs Gatlocke's head and kisses him on the forehead. Then on each of the eyelids. And one on the nose. It's disjarring and Gatlocke just doesn't get it. What the hell? Is this just something a Providence goon does to one another to show their loyalty or something (because that makes even less of a sense)? Maybe this is supposed to be some kind of a curse? He's not sure at all, because nothing like this has ever happened to him before and he just doesn't know what to make of it.

As all of this is happening, Gatlocke continues to stab, continuously remind the target that he's supposed to die now and not cause any more confusion. It's slow and choking and the target tries to make out a few more words, but in the end, Gatlocke wins.

Gatlocke always wins.

He casually tosses the body to the side and turn to walk away when he sees the flash of green. He ducks just in time to dodge a bent katana thrown in his direction. And as he runs, a single name rings out in the empty city.

"Rex!"

And for the first time in Gatlocke's life, a name sticks.

* * *

"Sounds pretty easy," Gatlocke says, flipping through the file that's been offered to him. He's technically already taken care of this. He's killed the target, but this is different. He now has a file. He now has information on the man that he killed (will kill). Normally, he tosses these out (he doesn't need it because he's already finished the job), but this one is different.

This one is special.

"You shouldn't underestimate him," the man warns. "Rex Salazar is a rather… peculiar person."

Gatlocke snorts. "Like I haven't heard that one before. Why don't people ever say something less clichéd? Like… I don't know… This person is like… the Spanish Inquisition! Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

He says it like he doesn't really care. But he does. He cares so much because he's not supposed to care at all and who the hell is this Rex Salazar anyways that can make Gatlocke question things? This isn't right and he's scared and he really doesn't know what he's supposed to feel or think.

The man tilts his head, looking torn between calling all of this off and amusement. "Ah, and when you're done, can you deliver a message from me? Tell him that Van Kleiss sends him regards."

"I'm not a pigeon. If you want a message delivered, you pay extra."

"So be it."

* * *

The second time he meets Rex Salazar, it finally dawns on him that maybe, just maybe, this guy is different than everyone else. He's just not sure _how_.

"Are you lost?"

Gatlocke glances over and spots Rex, who calmly walks up to him. The Providence goons walk around them, clearly giving them space. So this kind of things happens (happened) a lot round here. The two of them together, Gatlocke and Rex, are such a common scene that no one bats their eyelashes twice. What the hell? What is the future him thinking? Why would he think that this is a good idea to get close to someone? He already knows what's going to happen.

"How can you tell?"

"You've been blankly standing there for the past few minutes."

"… You've been watching?"

Rex chuckles at the discomforted look on Gatlocke's face.

"It's nothing creepy, I promise. C'mon, where are you trying to go? I'll direct you." Rex keeps his hands to himself. He doesn't try to be extra friendly or pushy about their relationship, whatever it might be. Instead, he's quiet. Instead, he just extends his hands and offers it to Gatlocke, making it clear that it's a choice.

Ah. That's what it is.

Rex treats Gatlocke like this is the second time that they've met. That's what's bothering Gatlocke.

Normal people who don't have crazy timeline problem like Gatlocke don't do that. They assume that you're as normal as they are and treat you like a friend they've known forever. But Rex doesn't do that. He goes slowly. He talks to Gatlocke without presumptions, even though Gatlocke knows that that's not the truth. It can't be. He can see the pain flashing in Rex's eyes when they talk. He can see the truth in the actions of others near them.

"Why are you helping me?"

"Because I've been there." Rex grins widely.

Gatlocke's about to tell him where he can shove it. He doesn't need to listen to some bullshit about meeting someone whose timeline goes the wrong way. He's lived this all his life. He doesn't need a newbie to tell him how to live it. But Rex finishes it with something completely different.

"I've gotten lost at Providence so many times, I lost count! I pissed off Six from time to time because I got lost, too. He doesn't believe that I can still get lost here."

Gatlocke blinks. He feels like this is wrong. Like he should go the other way. He feels like he shouldn't be enjoying something as simple like this. A human interaction (So this is what it feels like). And he should be basking in something that all others take for granted. But instead, all he feels is fear and certain reluctance.

* * *

"Hey Gatlocke! Let's go see this movie!"

Gatlocke flinches and he just want Rex to go away. Damn it. There again. His name. The name "Rex Salazar" is engrained in his brain. But it's not just that. If it's just the name, then Gatlocke can run away. He can hide somewhere and make all of this go away. But it's not just that.

He feels like he's drowning. He can still smell blood. Rex's blood. Damn it. Damn that name. He can see Rex's smile, his gentle grins. He can still feel Rex's lips against his forehead, his eyelids, his nose. He can still feel the warmth of Rex's body in his arms. He can still feel the impact of the dagger as he stabbed, again and again and again…

"Gat?"

"Stop following me. I'm here on a Providence-related issue, not you."

Rex blinks and in that second, he looks like he's hurt. Like he can't quite believe what he's hearing. Then the second passes and Rex smiles sheepishly and rubs the back of his neck. "Sorry, sorry," he says lightly, "I'm being too pushy. Then what about this? Have a drink with me."

"No."

"Talk to me?"

"You want me to talk? Fine. You infuriate me. Why the hell are you following me around?"

"Because I like you."

It sounds so simple but it doesn't work like that. Gatlocke's life doesn't work like that. And why can't Rex just understand that? Why can't this guy just let things be? Gatlocke already knows how this story ends. He's seen what he does. And if he gets attached, he can only imagine the heartache that Rex will be in (that Gatlocke will be in) and…

"Well I don't like you. I think you're annoying. I hate the way you always trail after me. I hate the way that you always hide behind that damned smile like everything's okay when everything is not. I hate how you're treating me like it's the first time we've met even though you've known me for who-knows-how-long. I hate that you're stifling your own feelings for my sake!"

And oh. That's what it is.

That's why he's been drowning. Because of the sheer amount of kindness that Rex is showing him. Because Gatlocke's never had that before. He doesn't know what to do with it. He doesn't know how to act when someone's treating him like a normal person. Especially not when he still has Rex's blood on his hands. Especially not since he can't get the damned blood out of his mind.

Rex grabs him by the collar and pulls him down until they're face-to-face. His face is cold and stony, so different from the warm grins that he usually gives Gatlocke.

"I like you," Rex declares. "Who the fuck gives a crap about how I feel? I don't want you to be uncomfortable around me. That's all."

"You're killing me."

Rex smirks at that. "Don't worry, it won't kill you. We know each other for a quite a long time more." And he laughs and laughs and laughs, but all Gatlocke hears are the tears that Rex never sheds in front of him.

* * *

He realizes that he's done wrong as soon as he walks away. But it's too late. He has put everything in motion and goddamn it, he's Gatlocke! He doesn't do regret. This isn't guilt that's eating at his heart and this sure as hell isn't reluctance he's feeling. He needs to erase Rex Salazar from his being, his soul, his mind. And if staining the world red is going to take care of that, so be it.

So why is it that his fingers are tapping nervously and he keeps pacing? Why is it that he can't sit still and he keeps running his hands through his hair? Why is his mouth dry and he can't think?

"Don't worry, we're going to find him," the woman in the white lab coat says as she sits calmly as if she's not affected by any of this. "Van Kleiss isn't going to get away with this."

But she doesn't understand. She doesn't know that it's because of Gatlocke. That it's Gatlocke who's sold Rex out. He had to. Because how else is he going to get Rex out of him?

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because we have Providence's best looking for him."

He's about to protest. Because if Providence's best is working on it, then wouldn't they realize that Gatlocke has done? Wouldn't they know that he's the reason why Rex is suffering and…

Oh gods, what if Rex is suffering?

He remembers the blood on his hands. He remembers Rex's last mumble. He remembers Rex's lips against his skin and-

"They found him. Let's go!"

* * *

"You idiot," Gatlocke mutters darkly as he unties Rex from the bonds. "You stupid idiot!" _Why do you trust me? Why are you looking at me with those grateful eyes? Why the hell are you laughing? I didn't save you! I didn't. I sold you out and-_

"Hey Gat, kiss me?"

He doesn't know how to respond. He just freezes and hopes that this is all a lie because _how the hell can you ask that of me after I betrayed you?_

And in the end, he leans down and clumsily kisses Rex. Then he pulls away, helping Rex up and pretending that he doesn't know what just happened. He looks up and his eyes meet a man's. He's not too sure who this man is but he gets a feeling that he should know him, that this man is going to play an important role in all of this. But Gatlocke will always be Gatlocke. He doesn't remember anyone who isn't important. And right now, Rex's hand is in his and that's all that matters.

* * *

From then, it's easier.

He gives up trying to stop everything. Instead, he throws caution into the wind and trusts himself to Rex. He lets Rex demand kisses from him. He lets Rex touch him and get intimate in ways that Gatlocke has never done before. He lets Rex get closer and closer to the point that he keeps wondering just how it is that they're still two people. And most of all, he lets Rex order for him.

"You're going to love this," Rex says with a laugh.

But to be honest, Gatlocke hates it. He thinks that it tastes like crap and that it's probably going to make him sick later. But Rex is in front of him, laughing and joking brightly as if they've done this a million times. So when Rex leans over and whispers, "Do you like it?" he has no choice but to grin back and respond, "I love it." But in his mind, he's already thinking _I love you._

* * *

One day, as he's biting down on Rex's shoulder, Gatlocke suddenly realizes that he can't smell the blood anymore. He looks down at his hands and sees that they're no longer covered in blood. In Rex's blood. He's still surrounded by Rex, stained to the soul by him, but he no longer sees the death.

Instead, he sees Rex. He sees the bright laughter and wide-eyed excitement. He sees the coiled anger, the purposeful actions, the desperate sadness. He sees life and love and adoration, and he can't stop the shit-eating grin on his face.

Rex nips at the tip of his nose before littering Gatlocke's face with kisses. And Rex doesn't know it, but Gatlocke gets it. It's Rex. It's always been Rex. The only one who's found him in his isolation, the only one who's dragged him out, the only one who's showered him with steadfast loyalty and love. The only one who's ever touched Gatlocke's heart like this.

And in the world of fishes that are swept by the current called time, Gatlocke realizes that there's a fish swimming by his side, fighting the current.

"I love you," he finds himself whispering into Rex's skin. And with every kiss, every touch, he makes sure to convey his love and gratitude.

* * *

He knows that they've passed the halfway point the minute Rex becomes shyer. There's still love there, love mingled with reluctant fear and hope. Rex becomes uncertain, like he's looked too far into the future and he's not too sure if this is something he wants to commit to.

They fuck everywhere, too. It's just part of what they do. And he can care less whether or not there's a new creed that Providence made or whatever, because Rex is still here. And this is what matters right now. That the two of them are together.

And one day, Rex won't be.

It terrifies him, and it makes him angry, and all he wants to do is hold Rex close to himself and never let go because once he does, they'll slowly approach their end (his end and Rex's beginning). He doesn't want to get close to there. He doesn't want to watch Rex slowly forget. He doesn't want to stand there when one day, Rex will look at him and with confused look on his face ask, "Who are you?"

"You're thinking too loudly," Rex complains, wrapping his legs around Gatlocke's waist as Gatlocke holds him steady against the wall. "I can hear you from here. Hurry up and kiss me already."

Gatlocke doesn't deny him. He never can.

* * *

Rex gasps and moans, throwing his head back and revealing the hickey-filled neck. Gatlocke smirks at his handiwork. He places his hands beside Rex's head, using the comms control table to balance himself. Overhead, the green light turns on and Gatlocke's not too sure what that means, but he's a little distracted by something else right now.

"Ready?" he asks.

"Stop teasing me," Rex hisses, "and get on with it!"

Gatlocke laughs and pushes on, enjoying Rex's voice echoing in his ear, the feel of Rex's body against his…

Then the doors slam open and the man in the green suit and the woman in the lab coat are standing there with furious looks on their faces.

"Oh shit."

Even though that's the words out of Gatlocke's mouth, he can't stop the laughter. He can't stop loving every moment he has left with Rex.

* * *

Gatlocke's not even sure when it starts. But he orders the food for them. He's memorized it already. They always get the same thing. He gets the crappy food that Rex once ordered for him and the food that Rex always eat. Then they sit together and talk and argue and bicker and just exist in time together.

He also notices that Rex no longer asks for the kisses. Instead, he has to go steal them himself, watching as Rex's face turns beet red as he looks at Gatlocke with an unreadable look. Like Rex isn't even sure how to figure this out. Like he's much too shy for that shit, even though Gatlocke knows that that's not true.

In the back of his mind, he understands that he's being too pushy. That he can't force something like this. He can't just press kisses on Rex's face and hope that they can have the intimacy that they used to share. He can't force a relationship on someone. It's the very reason why he's hated human interaction for as long as he did.

And he just doesn't understand how Rex did it, how Rex was able to prioritize Gatlocke's comfort over his own impending fears, because Gatlocke just can't. He wants Rex to stay. He wants Rex to remember. He never wants to let go, despite the rising confusion in Rex's eyes and the reluctance in Rex's actions. He can't let Rex go.

"Rex, I can't without you."

"Can't what?"

Rex looks peeved. And Gatlocke doesn't blame him. He knew what was coming and didn't let Rex know beforehand. But doesn't Rex get it? If he lets even the smallest of things change, then they won't be together. If he changes something, anything, then Rex wouldn't be the Rex who came to Gatlocke and helped cleanse the blood. It won't be the same.

"Breathe. I can't breathe when you're not here with me."

"Don't worry; it won't kill you. We know each other for quite a long time more."

And isn't that hilarious because aren't those the exact words that Rex had said to him once upon a time before he laughed and laughed and laughed? And it's not fair because he loves Rex. He loves him and he doesn't ever want to let Rex go. But Rex keeps making it hard. Rex keeps pulling away. Rex keeps walking away from him.

Their lips crash together and Gatlocke's sure there are more words, more resentment, but all he knows is that _Oh, this is Rex's first time_ and _Then it must be my last_.

* * *

It hurts. Everything hurts so badly and half the time, he just wants to crawl somewhere and just forget about the world. He doesn't want to keep going through this. He's going to lose Rex in the worst kind of way and he doesn't even know why he bothered with this in the first place.

He should've let Rex go. He should've just made sure that they never met. But instead, he finds himself back by Rex's side, hugging and holding the other as tightly as he dared before he whispers, "I love you. Don't give up on me."

* * *

And one day, he realizes that this is the last time they'll ever meet.

Rex doesn't even look at him with an ounce of recognition. So of course, he had to repay the favor. He grabs Rex's head and kisses his forehead. Then the two eyelids. Then the nose. And right before he can kiss him on the lips, the man in green suit tears them apart with seething words and anger.

It's not fair. It's so not fair. He doesn't even get to say goodbye properly? And he shakes himself awake because what's he talking about? He didn't let Rex say goodbye either. And maybe that's just how it should be. So he watches Rex, memorizing every detail as he can because this is it. He's never going to see him again.

And just before everything's over, Gatlocke kisses him. He rounds him in the corner and kisses him and holds him and takes as much as he dares, because this is it. This is it.

"I love you. Don't give up on me," he tells him before he's dragged away. And all he can think is _What am I supposed to do with my life now?_

* * *

The man in front of him is strikingly familiar and Gatlocke just can't place it.

Ever since Rex left his life, he just doesn't see the point of remembering people. He feels himself reverting back to the beginning. Back to the merchant who cared about nothing. Back to the dull world he surrounded himself in. Back to swimming along against the current. Back to the cold shell of a person who accepted the job of killing the man he'll eventually fall in love with.

And oh. That's what it is.

The man in front of him. He's the one who paid him. He's the one who Gatlocke sold Rex out to once long ago. He's the one who got Gatlocke to kill Rex. He's the one that caused all the pain, all the heartache.

Gatlocke holds his blaster in the man's face but he can't fire. Because yes, this man caused everything. All the pain, all the desperation, all the sadness. But this man also caused everything else. All the joy, all the laughter, everything. Without this man, Gatlocke would never have met Rex, and he would never have learned that the world can be so bright, so beautiful.

In that moment of hesitation, the man fights back. And Gatlocke feels so stupid because he knows that not even Rex will mourn him (How can he? He doesn't even know who Gatlocke is). He's going to die quietly here, unable to get revenge for anything, forgotten by the whole world.

_Hah!_ He thinks. _What a fitting end._


End file.
